We talk about love. We think about love. Our whole life is surrounded by love. But is it really love?
Time does not equal love
We spend time with someone. We eat together, we laugh together, we walk together, we go to events together and we can even live together. We text to each other and we talk to each other. So we do all of this stuff and then you might get married and get a dog and move to the suburbs and buy a Volvo for your family. Are you in love? Someone might be, but someone might not.
Distractions of social media
We are constantly comparing ourselves to others on media, especially social media. We follow Instagram accounts full of some romantic couples spending weeks in Santorini. We see pictures full of "love", we idolize these perfect couples and we want that too. This creates a heavy blurred line towards real love. Love isn't something you can get by following and copying people. Love doesn't need to be shown to everyone. Love comes from within and thats already enough.
As we are continuously surrounded by ideas of love in movies and tv series and famous media people, we might build a picture of love that we think is real. But it is really a combination of the distractions you get everyday from different channels. Are you really in love with someone or do you like the idea to love someone and be loved? Do you like to be with someone, because you feel unsafe to be alone? Do you just need someone close to you? Is it just a romantic fling or do you really love that person? Is it something you saw on social media and you think thats amazing? What do YOU think? We need to be plugged off from this technology every now and then to really listen to ourselves and our needs. All of these ideas of romantic love are just shutting our own mind to the real things we find important to us. If you don't love yourself, how can you ever love someone else?
Why you hate your ex?
How can we explain the "hate of your ex"? If you really loved your ex, you would never hate that person. You would not disrespect him or her. You would never talk bad about him or her. How come does love turn to hate over night? It sounds ridiculous. It can't be real love. Horrible violence between couples happen often after they break up. Would you hurt your loved one? Yes, fights happen and thats healthy, but would you really hurt your love? No, because you would die for that person. You would do everything for that person. Everything.
Love hurts, love costs and love empties us. Love creates us. It isn't easy and nor it's supposed to be. But thats why it may be totally worth it.
But do we need to be in love? Maybe not. But we live only once (most likely), so I believe we should at least aim for that.
P.S. Taking pictures together and sharing your love life is absolutely fine! You can really be in love.
P.P.S. I'm not a love doctor, but just some thoughts for you!